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EMPTINESSES

by Big Best Friend

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1.
Waitin’ ‘round just to be late After hours can I crash at your place? (whatever, death) Talk to strangers that you wish you did not know Too much drinking you’re confused and all alone (whatever, death) Hold the ghost hands in the Walmart parking lot Walk right through them They know you are not you (whatever, death) I don’t know you but I wish I knew you (you know: whatever, death) Waitin’ ‘round just to be late After hours can I crash at your place? (whatever, death) Do your make-up, turn your lips candy red Hit the town then hit the bed, all alone (whatever, death)
2.
House House 02:13
Emptiness is an empty house, I know It’s Halloween on River Side My mother calls to check that I’m alive Tells me we’re out of funerals — The ground’s fed up There’s a better place, it ain’t far away Where we become one and the same Emptiness is the miles between my friends and me It’s Halloween on River Side The painted dead spend up their lives They walk side by side The ground’s fed up
3.
We stayed up all night Under half-full-moon light On a storm-fucked beach I felt you growing inside me You said “kill your scare crows Let the phantoms in your home Undo your skin, so you can Do it right back again” We stayed up all night Filled my skeleton with life In half-full-moon light Watch me be just fine
4.
Bedroom Song 03:08
Heaven’s a thought Born in the summer time I lay in your lap And you play with my hair And the water just is And we’re just beside it And we may roll around Until our bodies become just only sound I breach into waves Become what the fire is not I’m all over you Until we are just crawling walls I got lost in my little bedroom I will disappear, I don’t need a reason why And the world lives So we can die inside it Oh was it a dream When the walls became waterfalls? Oh was it a dream When the mansion held a fire? Oh was it a dream When we spent a real year inside? And we did roll around Making sounds about making sounds I got lost in my little bedroom I will disappear, I don’t need a reason why
5.
Somewhere the sun opens up Sometimes love ain’t enough Something’s constantly weeping (and the earth aches in the state that it’s in) Though I don’t know the cost I ain’t giving up I’ll be a voyeur among A thing that isn’t quite there A ghost or an aperture’s glare A feeling that don’t come and don’t go A world inside of the phone Though I don’t know the cost I ain’t giving up I’ll be a voyeur among A thing that isn’t quite there
6.
You know how I know you I see you when I don’t Inside our bedrooms we’d trade our warmest clothes (and sink into bed) Digital fireworks may keep us close I know how you know me You see me when I don’t In winter, in dark water Our shapes became a home (felt sick in the car) Digital fireworks may keep us close
7.
I don’t know no apparition I don’t walk into the field I don’t sleep in the creek And I stopped drinking beer I know you as a feeling And not anything else If I walked into your yard you’d kick me out yourself Are you anything? Are you anywhere? Are you the clothes on your back, or the color in your hair? I don’t know no apparition I think I only know love 3 years with closed eyes Big Best Friend’s on the come up I walked to the gas station in the middle of the night And my ghost revealed itself And it made love with my life If I know you, and you know me Are we interchangeable? Are we trading dreams when we sleep? Are we anything we’re near?
8.
Do You? 01:43
Do you still live Where we used to live? Great haunted hotels, invisible memory Do you still drive Where we used to drive? Tires spent on gravel, abandoned homes in the sun Do you still pray Where we used to pray? Chicken-scratch on the chalk board, prayers come undone
9.
Phantom Song 02:14
Bright and alive I saw your face on Facebook Rolled up jeans near a mountain, dirty hands in water fountains Bright and alive I saw your face on Facebook In your transparent futuristic trailer park Bright and alive I saw your face on Facebook Standing free in your apartment, just like me in your apartment God may the moon stay away We’ll not be from them Bright and alive you saw my face on Facebook I became a momentary phantom God may the moon stay away We’ll not be from them
10.
Winter, 2015 02:19
I won’t bring it up now that you’re calling me so much Telling me how good it feels to be in love, telling me how it feels to be someone’s Man, I just want to hang up I can’t reanimate winter nights filling the ash trays, solo cups and Calypso straight You and me wobbling back and fourth, nodding out, face on the floor Man, I sure hope that you’re okay Just dead on the couch, TV light just bleeding out Hand stuck in Dorito bag, making puddles and washing rags Burn the weed then hide the bag Piss the fire out, just like that Man, we sure should move past the past
11.
Arounding glow of streetlight You saw children become the night And the sky it became whatever else The world opens up just for itself Arounding shoulder in inhuman Florida light I approached a place where the dead unite And in the cemetery owls let out their cries and we just stood in the Cassadaga night Arounding spinach chopped light beside the kale I opened into an orange peel And the sun was suddenly in my stare And I gave it to you to match your hair Arounding glow of streetlight You saw children become the night And the sky it became whatever else The world opens up just for itself
12.
The world lives and we also live kind of inside of it I walk outside, see summer light Hear old thunder’s on the way Strip me back, I mean Cut my hair and send me off To the waterlogged old-high-school-cars in the dump yard full of fire cuz that’s me Strip me back, I mean Take my eyes and send me off To the world outside cuz there’s no world inside I’m full of absences But my antlers aren’t enough To block out this world’s love And cold heart Emptiness is made by callused men, like me I’m the star of my home when I’m all alone In the keyboard dust, pullin’ sweatpants up I’m in the thick of it And the sleeping pills and not sleeping pills I’m in the thick of it But my antlers aren’t enough To block out all your love Emptiness is made by callused men, it’s invented The world lives and we also live kind of inside of it I walk outside, see summer light Hear your thunder’s on the way But my antlers aren’t enough To block out all this love So I’d better settle in Emptiness is made by calloused men With cold hearts

about

Written / Recorded September 2019 - May 2021. With the making of this album spanning so much time (more than ever before), it captures growing pains: love, more death, and COVID. In a flare of fast living, this album captures many landmarks that I'll be thinking about for years to come. Opening my arms to change. A study of things missing and memory. Coping with the human condition.

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Thank you so much for your ears and support.

credits

released June 18, 2021

All songs written and recorded by Morgan Motes (AKA BIG BEST FRIEND). Cover art by Morgan Motes (of a streetlight in Cassadaga, Florida). The world lives.

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Big Best Friend Florida

Touching guitars lightly. Songs about the moon and what it shines on. Pacific Northwest Indie Rock if made from the wet grounds of Florida.

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